Spring Cleaning
by The Mad Cows
Summary: What happens when the mansion gets too cluttered and Cyclops notices it?


"It has come to my attention that the mansion is too cluttered and many of you are keeping things that you don't need. I am therefore setting today aside as our spring cleaning day." Scott announced grandly.  
  
Everyone groaned. The professor smiled at the looks on his X-men's faces. Noticing it, Cyclops continued,   
  
"And that goes for you too, Professor."   
  
Xavier sighed.  
  
"Now, everyone is to take part," Cyclops said, "You will all search your rooms for unnecessary junk…"  
  
*****  
  
Half an hour later...  
  
"...Now, you will all get to work." Cyclops blinked and realised that he was talking to an empty room. He stormed outside and found Storm waiting in the corridor.   
  
"You're finally done. The others decided to spend the half an hour doing something more productive.  
  
"THAT'S why nobody was complaining about the spring cleaning! By the way, what are they doing?"  
  
"Playing computer games."  
  
"WHAT???"  
  
*****  
  
Jubilee, Rogue, Gambit, Jean, Wolverine and Xavier were watching Iceman 'kill' 20 ninjas in one 'blast' when Cyclops stormed into the room and pulled out the plug.  
  
"Awwww, my high score!"  
  
"Now we have to run Scandisk AGAIN!"  
  
"Did ya HAVE ta do that, bub?"  
  
"TO YOUR ROOMS NOW!"  
  
"Damn."  
  
*****  
  
Storm marched Jubilee into her room while Jubilee pleaded all the way. "Storm, pleease pleease pleease let go of me! I can clean up my room myself, you know."  
  
Storm grimaced. "Jubilee, the last time you cleaned your room was two years ago. I shudder to think of what might be down ther-"  
  
Jubilee emerged from under her bed. "Oh, here's my bubble gum from last year! I was wondering where it went-hey, how come it's black?"  
  
Thus began a hectic hour for Storm. She desperately tried to keep her temper in check as she and Jubilee unearthed more "ancient fogies".  
  
"Jubilation Lee! What is this half-eaten ice-cream doing under your bed?"  
  
"Oh, here's my old teddy bear. Hey, she's sticky!"  
  
The best part was when they discovered a whole colony of ants crawling between the mattress of Jubilee's bed.  
  
"Oh goody, now I can start an ant farm!"  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
"I can't believe Scott stopped that great computer game just to make us do this. I mean, we can do it later."  
  
Hank sighed. "That's why he stopped you. He knew you would NEVER get down to doing it. It is called PROCRASTINATION. Now get to work."  
  
Half an hour later...  
  
"Gosh, Bobby, Jean and Ororo won't be too happy about THAT." Hank pointed to the mountain of dirty clothes and the end of the room. "They'll be washing until next year." Bobby shrugged.  
  
"And look at this. Twinkie wrappers, Twinkie wrappers and more Twinkie wrappers. You are just as bad as Jubilee."  
  
"No, worse." Storm looked in at the door, on her way to the Professor's room," Jubilee has cleaned up her room and you have not." She walked off.  
  
Bobby sighed and continued clearing out the closet.  
  
*****  
  
At the other side of the mansion...  
  
"Professor, surely you don't need all these," Scott coaxed. Behind him, Storm stifled a laugh.   
  
"But this is my best wheelchair! It's the first one I ever had!"  
  
Storm sighed. "It's all rusty, Professor."  
  
"Well, maybe I can throw that one away..."  
  
"What about this one, then?"  
  
"NOOOOO!"  
  
Storm looked at Scott. You convince him, her eyes said. The Fearless Leader of the X-men sighed. Their most difficult mission had been MUCH easier than this.   
  
*****  
  
Two hours later...  
  
"Professor, this one is in even worse condition than the last one! If we throw away this one, we'll let you keep one of the newer ones."(Yes, they had to resort to THAT method.)  
  
"But this is my SPECIAL wheelchair! Erik MADE it for me using his power! I CAN'T throw it away!" Professor Xavier closed his eyes and said, "I still remember then….Erik made it using his power alone….I was so impressed…."  
  
Lost in his memories, the Professor didn't notice Storm and Cyclops dragging the heavy wheelchair out to the trash heap.  
  
*****  
  
In another part of the mansion...  
  
Logan glared in the direction of Scott's room. "Tightass is getting really bossy nowadays," he grunted as he grudgingly opened the door of his closet.  
  
A huge pile of spandex costumes cascaded down on him. Logan muttered as he unearthed himself. "These stink, man. Red's really gonna have a hard time washing these stuff."  
  
He decided to leave his closet to the last.  
  
Going over to his bed, Logan sniffed again. "Great. Gambit's been here."  
  
Logan was really annoyed when he found carvings of himself being scolded by the Professor and of him kneeling to a suspiciously familiar gumbo under his bed  
  
"Gambit's definitely been here. He stinks."  
  
After Logan had procrastinated for as long as possible, he approached the pile of stinking, sweaty spandex suits. He began the long and grimy task of chucking them back into the closet without bothering to fold them (in other words, recreating the mess that had cascaded down on him earlier).  
  
"How many colours do I have? Black, yellow, blue, yellow, yellow, blue, blue and yellow, green, blue, yellow, pink…?"  
  
"PINK?"  
  
*****  
  
Scott and Ororo, who were coming back from the trash heap, were startled by an unearthly sound coming from the direction of Logan's room. Running to Logan's room, they crashed the door down and crouched into battle stances.  
  
Only to fall down laughing at the sight that met their eyes.  
  
Logan was standing in a pile of spandex suits, holding a PINK spandex suit on his claws as far away from him as possible with a look of extreme distaste.  
  
"Hey, what'cha two lookin' at?" he snarled.   
  
Trying to answer proved almost impossible. Storm and Cyclops dissolved into fits of laughter.  
  
"Where did THIS spandex trash thing come from, eh?"  
  
"Erm, Logan, HAHAHA! You see, I put that HAHAHA! thing there years ago to find out when you would ever clean your BWAHAHAHA! room…" Scott replied, trying to hold back his laughter but failing.  
  
Logan growled. " Why you-"  
  
Storm chuckled and cleverly moved out of the way. Better not to tell the men that she had removed the original not-so-pink spandex suit and replaced it with an even pinker spandex suit two years ago.  
  
***  
  
In the Summers' Quarters…  
  
Jean peered out of the window at the spectacle of Logan chasing Scott around the fountain. Shaking her head, she continued sorting out Scott's mountain high pile of dictionaries.  
  
"Let's see…English to French, French to English, English to German, German to French, Khmer to English, English to Vietnamese, Oxford's New Collegiate Dictionary, Cambridge's First Collegiate Dictionary, Webster's Original Collegiate Dictionary…"  
  
"I believe that we DO NOT have any enemies who converse to us in Khmer or Vietnamese!"  
  
Jean's face was turning redder and redder. And redder. And redder.   
  
Flipping over the dictionaries, she nearly fainted at the prices of the dictionaries.   
  
Telepathically, she screamed at Scott, who was downstairs trying his best to dodge Wolverine.  
  
~SCOTT SUMMERS, YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO SPEND OVER A THOUSAND DOLLARS ON A PILE OF USELESS DICTIONARIES!~  
  
She picked them up using her telekinesis and dumped them into the ever growing pile of rubbish outside.  
  
And fainted clean away. The dictionaries were just…too…heavy…!  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, Rogue and Gambit were arguing in turns in the Cajun's room.  
  
"Remy LeBeau, you have waaaaaaay too much junk in here! Ah'm gonna throw some away!"  
  
"But Chere, dis cards were my first pack! And dis one, that was the first one Remy ever threw! And dis…dis was a first edition um, Remy forgot what it was but don't throw 'em 'way! Chere!"  
  
Rogue had picked up the mountain high pile of cards discovered under the bed and was about to throw them away when suddenly, Gambit got an idea.  
  
"Chere, I t'ink Cykey not gonna be too happy when I tell him 'bout your secret stash of teddy bears…"  
  
"Why ya dirty lowlife swamp rat, ya won't dare…"  
  
"I might…but not if you leave my cards alone." Gambit winked at Rogue.  
  
"Ah don't know why Ah'm doin' this, but Ah am! Ya don't tell Cyke 'bout mah teddy bears and Ah won't tell him 'bout your cards. Deal?"  
  
"Deal!"  
  
***  
  
Logan finally got tired of trashing Cyclops and had left, leaving a very dirty Scott in a tattered and torn uniform. He decided to sneak a peek at the rubbish pile and was shocked to find his dictionaries making up most of the pile.  
  
"Twinkie wrappers, an old teddy bear or two and black lollipops I can understand, but my dictionaries! No way!"  
  
Picking them up, he carefully cradled them and cooed, "Don't worry babies, Daddy won't let you get trashed!" He was just about to sneak them back when Jean regained consciousness, realised what he was doing and telepathically screamed at him.  
  
"Busted!"  
  
***  
  
In the laundry room…  
  
Beast, Bobby and Jubilee stared at the pile of clothes and whatnot that had collected in the laundry room.  
  
"Gosh, Storm Jean and Rogue ain't gonna be too happy when they see these, Hank!"  
  
"Yeah, like even Storm will explode!"  
  
"I believe that you two will not want to be here when they find out so I suggest that both of you hightail it back to your rooms."  
  
Which was just what Bobby and Jubilee did.  
  
***  
  
"Ahem, attention everyone."  
  
The X-Men ignored Scott.  
  
"I said, Attention!"  
  
Still no one responded.  
  
"ATTENTION!"  
  
Finally, they looked at him.  
  
"Due to the, uh, disastrous results of today's Spring Cleaning, I hereby declare that I will not hold anymore Spring Cleanings." Scott sniffled a bit, thinking of his poor dictionaries.  
  
The whole room erupted with shouts of joy.  
  
"But uh, don't build up anymore mess or Jean will come after you." 


End file.
